A place where palm meets forehead, with the harsh slap of regret-tinged realisation echoing down our ear canals and into the strong omnivorous skulls of our human heads.

  • I'd forgotten that was on my lap.

  • Edging your way very carefully through but stuff is still shunted rudely.

  • The clocks have done what?

  • It's taken ages to get here. I've lost my wallet.

  • Making that noise by accident.

  • Rubbery gammon.

  • The last one has gone from the shelf. I'll just stoop to check at the back just in case. Yes. Gone.

  • Not my socks?

  • Haitch.

  • Made for TV.

  • Set in New York.

  • Falling asleep on the toilet.

  • It would seem the kettle was never actually on.

  • Hmm, that's an interesting thought I'm having. I'll just think about something else for a bit then come back to it. Hang on, come back to what?

  • It's all right, the other trousers are clean. At least they would be if I had cleaned them.

  • Consistently losing at Connect 4 to an eight year old.

  • Expired, eh!

  • Fascism.

  • That egg had consequences.

  • You really are just a complete git.

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